Sunday, August 28, 2016

So, I should probably sit down and write something. My therapist is reading this blog and she wanted me to post something. She gave me some questions, but I'm going to talk about more than that.

What do I do when I feel stuck at my house?
Once recently I went on a bike ride, but mostly I just talk to people on the internet. It feels like socializing and I tend to say more than I do when I hang out in person. Plus everyone I talk to online knows I'm a girl. There are people I've met who I don't correct when they misgender me, because it scares me to confront them.

The experience of riding your bike through a small town?
Honestly, it's been positive so far. When I nod to people, they mostly nod back. The part I really don't liek is that I'm so out of shape that biking has become hard for me.

What gets in my way?
I think fear? And a lack of motivation. When I last applied for a job, anxiety attacks stopped me from scheduling an interview. I think out these elaborate issues with each thing I want to attempt to do and it stops me. Also, not having energy to do things. Not having the desire to do them.

Other things: I recently broke it off with all my partners. All five of them. I don't have a lot of regrets about this, other than that I regret I stopped being into those relationships. Now I've developed a somewhat shitty crush on another girl I met online.